HOW TO INSTALL AN INEXPENSIVE HOME SECURITY SYSTEM
1. Go to a secondhand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine.
3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.
4. Leave note on your door that reads:
Bigun, Duke & I went for more ammo and beer. Be back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls cause they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up bad. I don't think Killer took part, but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of em in the house. Better wait outside.
I found this on the blog, http://womenofcaliber.wordpress.com, by Kellene Bishop all credit to her.
I thought it was pretty hilarious.